Why I Believe

It was 2004 and I was at university.

I had driven myself insane by trying to figure out how the human mind works in great detail. I was also planning a mass social movement to over-throw the British government.

I had written mad plans all over the walls of my study bedroom and had thrown out the bed.

Suddenly, I felt an intense throbbing and clamping sensation on my head and my hand moved without me controlling it. It wrote:

I HAVE BEEN MADE INSANE BY THE MATRIX

SANE

INSANE

SANE

INSANE

SANE

THE MATRIX

And on another occasion I was sat in my study-bedroom when all of a sudden, a thought popped into my mind that I felt was not one of my own.

YOU ARE THE MAN WHO DISCOVERED THE MATRIX

A while later, an entity named Madaba started communicating with me. And has done to this day.

He revealed his name to me by me running my fingers over my keyboard and him telling which keys to press, to spell it out.

Madaba does not have a voice, he never speaks to me. Instead, he communicates with me by touch. This has been going on since 2004.

This system of communication is called Butterfly.

Butterfly works by replying to any thoughts I think. Touching me on my left signifies “yes” and on my right signifies “no”. But he can vary tone and urgency.

I believe Butterfly is my direct line to Madaba.

It began when I was eating in Pizza Hut in Leamington-Spa (in England). It took me a while to figure out that it was responding to things I thought with my inner voice by saying Yes or No.

He is the reason I have been diagnosed with a psychiatric condition.

“I have been made insane by The Matrix” therefore means “Madaba is The Matrix”.

Basically, the writing on the wall episode meant “the thing that has caused you to be diagnosed as having a psychiatric condition is The Simulation”

But I don’t think I’m insane.

Indeed I believe that nobody in my position could ever avoid being diagnosed as insane.

One of the senior tutors at the university enigmatically told me that I was a “part of a very tiny elite” but at the time I had no idea what he meant.

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